I had breakfast with a friend this morning. We talked about many things, but when the conversation came to being more "in touch" with Jesus, the natural question was, "How is your prayer time and Bible-reading time?" "Not good," he replied. I asked the other obvious question, "Are you praying with your wife and reading Scripture together, ever?"
Now, I do have a regular time of prayer and Bible reading every day. But, I am completely neglecting doing those things with Lisa and with my children. As I started to suggest, we set goals of doing just those things, even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I thought of what would stop me: fear of failure and fear of inadequacy. But, those are unfounded (Lisa would never shoot me down or do anything but encourage me in this) and based on my own insecurities, which is a sure sign that I am relying on myself and not on Jesus.
So, my friend and I agreed we'd hold each other accountable to ask about how we are doing in these areas:
- prayer time with our wives and children
- Time alone with the Lord in prayer and Bible-reading
Reminders |
2 comments:
Dear Fred,
One thing that I’ve adopted in my daily disciplines is praying with my wife as a part of my daily prayer time. I always used to pray separately and spend just a little, often sporadic, time praying with Sarah. But I got to thinking: where in the Bible does it require me to pray all by myself? How much of the Scriptures talk about the covenant community, the fellowship of believers and “oneness” of the marriage relationship? Now, I most often spend the greater part of my prayer time with Sarah and the lesser amount of time in private prayer. To me, there are several benefits. I am more spiritually connected with my wife. We communicate more as a result of our prayer time. I am more faithfully leading her spiritually. I most often find it easier to connect with God when I am praying out loud and hearing Sarah pray out loud (less day dreaming and less mind wondering). It is much more relational and thoughtful.
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The down side—which I believe really is an upside in God’s Providence regarding Sarah’s and my sanctification—is that we have fought as a result of our prayer time. For me, I am most interested in praying, and like to interrupt our prayers for short communications… the ones I deem important. For Sarah, she thinks that if I can stop in the middle of a prayer to inform her of something or share a thought, she should be able to do that, too. (Amazing that she thinks it should work both ways!:-) In my mind, I want to share short thoughts and go back to prayer; my perception is that she sometimes wants to share long thoughts, which I find distracting to prayer. When I call her to stop talking and start praying it can be hurtful to her, and thus our fights. It is sanctifying in that we have to communicate about this situation and come to some agreement before we can proceed in our prayers. I am learning to value her need to talk and my need to listen. Sarah is most often an excellent listener and I am most often not. Unless I learn to listen to her, my prayers are going to be hindered in one way or another (1 Peter 3:7).
I understand that Sarah and I have made conscience choices that allow us to pray together. We both have flexible schedules, and, as a homemaker, she has made prayer together a priority in her day as I have made it one in mine. We had to come to this by mutual agreement; it was not something forced on her. When our children were really small, we did not do this. I think they were around 9 and 11 when we made this decision. Neither of us can remember when we started doing this, it may have been near the end of our time in Maryland or when we lived in Czech Republic in 2001.
Just a little food for thought on a part of what you were saying…
Your interchange has motivated me to try to resume praying with Becky. It's been too long since we prayed regularly together.
Your brother in Christ,
Roger
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